What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?

But im dying ,and its too late for me.

But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!

As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)

How do I overcome attachment issues?

Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.

Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!

And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!

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I waited trembling.

Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.

I write beautiful poetry .

Have husbands and wives ever had a threesome with someone in real life? How did it happen?

One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.

I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.

Im dying but, im not bitter.

What are some other ways to say "you're welcome" in French besides "de rien"?

She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!

Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life

He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!

What are some common examples of human hypocrisy?

As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.

Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..

I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!

Should India conduct another air strike to attack Pakistan over the Pahalgam attack?

Ive learnt so much.

My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.

They are buried together, in the same grave..

Does Donald Trump have low self-esteem?

Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.

And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!

We all went to grammer schools

Do other British people agree that the UK should reconquer Ireland?

The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!

When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!

Who then, do I blame.?

Does the Lil Wayne song ‘Lollipop’ refers to a Lollipop sweet or a metaphor?

She died at 55 of colon cancer.

Especially a lifetime of it.

I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.

Why are the Chinese so sensitive to Western criticism?

She was a women, a mother with her own children!.

Its mostly always from childhood abuse .

So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.

Why did Britain steal Gibraltar from Spain?

So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.

I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.

She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!

Is it possible to permanently quit pornography?

She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.

She found it foreign!.

And who doesn’t know suffering?

What are some hard rock or heavy metal bands that are overrated?

One cannot live in the past .

Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.

You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .

Why did my ex replace me so fast?

I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)

19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.

And i lived it daily.

Is it okay for a wife who comes home from a date to tell her husband what she did?

My family never makes their pension either.

I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.

I don,t even have a pension.

I did it because my mum asked me too!

But ive been too sick for many years..

I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers

We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.

Thats was my nicest nick name for him

I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.

But it wasn’t much.

He was dying to do it , i knew.

The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,

Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.

This is soul school!.

My life is so biszare .

And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!

With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.

We were not on the streets..

I might have to go back 30 generations or more..

Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.

It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.

Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!

I will be 64.

Another so called friend had bit the dust..

He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.

She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!

But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).

The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.

Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..

I said to her

Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.

My mum and dad in the seventies!

I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.

My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.

One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.

Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.

I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.

As i do to all so called friends.?

She wouldn,t have been !

He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.

On the 31st of Jan this month .

She married twice! .

I was scared of men, in general

I was seconnd youngest,

As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!

And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)

But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!

Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.

My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!

Put me off passion for life!!

I was very sick at this time too.

And, all my friends down the years ,where users.

She was in good health!

He resisted the act ,that day.

He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!

Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?

Would this be the day?

What did i know ?

We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..

We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.

My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.

Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other

.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them

The only rule us 5 kids had .

Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!

She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.

Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..

It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.

But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,

One cannot hold on to bitterness.

All the time i was locked up.

His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!

He knew the spot.

I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.

My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .

He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!

Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.

Was to survive, this bastard.

But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .

BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.

A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.

Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.

Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..

So whats the point in blame.

I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.

Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.

I of course replied” arh beautiful!

He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.

He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .

Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years

Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.

She loved him until the end.

As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.

I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.

I was writing from the time i was a small child.

I never cut or harmed myself..

I think the readers, may guess!

I was 9 years of age.

Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.

I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .

He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.

I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!

Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.

Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.

Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.

(And it was in our own minds.)

And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.

I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor

I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.

We could never speak unless he spoke to us!

I suffer greatly, because of BPD..

One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)

For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)

But im an empath, and i help lots of people.

Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.

My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.

I couldn’t, believe it.

And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!

I have no regrets .

I know ,a lot about trauma.

I had hoped to write a book about this .

Im still living with it.

Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.

Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t

Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.

Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.

It was going to be , some day.

That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.

But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!

Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!

The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..

We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!

His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.

At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.

They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?

Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)

I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.

Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!

You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.

5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.

He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.

I could never make a relationship work though!

So, i spoilt her more .

Comes on , in middle age.

But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.

Why did i forgive my father ?

He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!

When she asked me how she looked .

He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!

But, we were locked up after school.

Where the ultimate outsiders.

And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .

As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!

But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !

This is how, and why children get BPD.